Out of Control

Dear Church Family,

Greetings in Jesus’ Name! It is hard to believe that the year is drawing to a close and that the holidays are already almost upon us. The past year has been a busy one for our family, and a year of growth in several areas for me personally. I could write at length about the many lessons the Lord has taught me in 2013, but I have chosen to devote this newsletter to one particular topic: letting go and letting God be in control.

I must admit, I have perfectionistic tendencies, and without Jesus, I would be a control freak. I like things done in an excellent manner and an orderly way. I like results...quick results! (My spiritual fruit of patience needs more cultivation than some of the others!) When I start a project, whether it be spiritual or natural, I want it completed well and in a timely manner. I don’t like things left undone for long, and it makes me happy to see a project that I have envisioned finished and all the loose ends tied up. I am very task (and results) oriented! “Let’s take the bull by the horns and make some positive changes!” is my mentality. This is the way the Lord wired me. I thrive on devising plans and then achieving them, by either faith or hard work.

I bring this mentality into my parenting. Our children are gifts that the Lord has blessed us with and we feel very responsible to train them up properly so that they can be the next generation of strong believers. Pastor Jeff and I are very pro-active parents. This is one of the reasons we have chosen to home-school. We know our years to train our kids are limited, so we put large amounts of time and energy into teaching them every day in both spiritual and natural things. Generally this has gone pretty well in our home. While they have been little, their day is scheduled with learning and productivity, with mom and dad as their managers and life-coaches. I feel productive and accomplished at the end of each day as I see my kids making progress.

AND THEN WE HAVE A TEENAGER!!! Suddenly, I find that this child whose life I have managed (and yes, probably micro-managed) for all of these years suddenly wants to make her own decisions. She wants to set her own schedule, decide when to go to bed, do activities apart from the family (gasp!), and overall, begin to manage her own life. She wants more independence and freedom. (Those of you who have already raised teenagers have obviously already learned this lesson, but for me it was very new.) So one of the main areas God has been instructing me in is showing me that as my children grow, I must slowly begin to release the reigns of parental control, and allow the Lord (rather than me) to become their Boss. For someone who is very used to running a tight ship and being in charge, this has been a challenging lesson to learn at times.

Every parent wants their children to make right decisions and avoid mistakes, but we must come to a point where we realize that we cannot be the Holy Spirit to our kids. That’s what God is for! He is more than able to get through to them and make their lives into something beautiful...even if that beautiful picture looks a little different than what we had envisioned. The results might not come as quickly as we would like, but they WILL come if we continue to stand on His promises. God frequently reminds me of Scriptures such as Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God...” and Zechariah 4:6, “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts.” I am seeing that as my children grow into adults and I gradually release the natural control of their lives in a healthy way, my work transitions from hands-on training to more of a behind-the-scenes job, as I continually surround them with much prayer and words of faith. This new role, although a bit scary for me at times, is very freeing. As I trust Him, I am opening up the door for God to be able to work in them in a mighty way.

For me, I am having to learn to release control in my parenting. What is it for you? What are you trying so hard to control that you need to let go of? Take the burden off of yourself today, give it to God, and watch Him work! He is ever-faithful!

Happy Thanksgiving and God bless you,

Pastor Rebecca